Beauty
by Kyniska
Summary: What is beauty? What is love? Told from the POV of the Brightheart we know and love, Beauty is a story of romance and wonder, and how to discover who you are inside. It took me two months to write so please read! Some SwiftBright, because it's very cute.


**Well, I decided a while ago that I wanted to write a group of really long, really meaningful one-shots, so I wouldn't have to commit myself to updating chapters and stuff like that. This is the first one. Told from the POV of Brightheart, whom we all know and love, this is a story of love and wonder, which took me three months to write. Please don't skip paragraphs or anything, because every word on this page is extremely heartfelt, and I would hate for you to miss a word. Thanks, and R&R!**

**Disclaimer: YOUR WITTY COMMENT HERE I don't own Warriors.**

Lying on my stomach I watched Fireheart carry in a tiny kit. I frowned. I could smell the kit's scent on the air but it wasn't Mother's. Not Brindleface's or Goldenflower's either! But that would mean… no. He wasn't Speckletail's kit either! Wow! Someone new! I was fascinated already.

When they reached me Fireheart put him down by Brindleface. He was a handsome kit; thick white fur covered his body already. I wobbled over to him; my legs were not strong enough to support my whole weight quite yet.

"Hi!" I bent down to nuzzle him in greeting. He didn't stop drinking Brindleface's milk. I didn't mind. Milk was important. Mother always told me it made you grow up big and strong. "Hi!" I repeated. "I'm Brightkit! What's your name?" Finally he turned.

"I don hath a nim." He fumbled around the words, like they were slippery and his tongue was too.

"Really?" I was awestruck. "I've never met a kit without a name! Mine is Brightkit!" He looked at me. _Really_ looked at me. I could feel his blue orbs lock with my amber ones.

"Brightkit." He meowed, his voice surprisingly clear.

"Yes." I purred. "Brightkit. That's me."

"Brightkit!" Mother called me.

"I've got to go." I told the strange kit. He just stared straight ahead, his eyes still fixed on mine. For a minute I saw something in his eyes- not kit foolishness, or just emptiness- it was huge, and large and I felt- strange. I shook my head. The feeling disappeared and I saw the strange kit had gone to sleep. "Bye." I whispered.

Later that day I saw him talking to Thornkit. He spoke perfectly clearly. But whenever he conversed with me he fumbled around the words, as though his tongue wasn't formed yet. And whenever I looked in his eye I saw that swirling blackness that I couldn't name. It was strange. It was… ominous. What was it about this bizarre sensation I liked so much?

xxx

"Cloudkit." My new friend was bouncing with excitement when he told me his name. I grinned.

"Cool!" I cried. "Now we're the same! Come on, let's play!" We raced all around the nursery until we were covered in dust and dirt. We rolled together, tumbled, laughed. Soon we neared a puddle. We had fun playing in it- seeing how big we could make he ripples go- and soon we saw ourselves reflected in it. I laughed. We were so dirty! He didn't laugh. He came up and rested his head on my shoulder.

"You're beautiful Brightkit." He meowed, almost regretfully. I turned. He jumped away. Suddenly we weren't playful or laughing. We weren't kits. We stared at each other for a while.

"Thanks." I finally whispered.

"Welcome." He murmured back. We padded back to our mothers in silence. I was deep in thought. He had spoken clearly to me. And he had called me beautiful.

xxx

"I'm Brightpaw now!" I announced proudly to Cloudkit. He stood on the threshold between the nursery and the open camp. My ginger-and-white fur gleamed from the quick wash Mother had given me before the ceremony. I smiled broadly, but his face was tilted towards the ground and I couldn't read his expression.

I had always been bigger than Cloudkit – I was older than him for one thing. But he seemed tiny now, an infinitesimal speck before me. I frowned, and reached out with a paw, tilting his head up to face me.

"Cloudkit?" I asked softly. He glanced up at me but didn't smile. When I looked in his eyes I saw pain and hurt, and it frightened me. He looked at me for a moment and then turned away.

"You're an apprentice now." He meowed quietly. He spoke so softly I could barely hear his words. I didn't know what to say. Of all the hundreds of things I had imagined him saying – this was not one of them.

"Well, yeah." I shrugged and tried to smile warmly. I couldn't.

"And I'm a kit." His voice was toneless and dull, and suddenly I was scared.

"Y-Yes." I meowed uncertainly, shifting my paws back and forth awkwardly. "But it's not like we're _different_." I insisted. "We're still best pals!"

Cloudkit gave me a fleeting look of sadness, then shook his head and turned to go back into the nursery.

"No!" I shrieked. "Wait! Cloudkit - it's not like I'm special just because I got to have my ceremony early! You aren't six moons and – and-" I cast around for something to say, something that would make him understand. Because he_ had_ to understand – he just _had _to. "You're my best friend forever." I meowed gently. His ears twitched and it looked like he was about to turn around, but then he just shook his head and scuttled forward into the nursery. I let out a cry of pain and turned, racing to the apprentice's den as fast as I could. It felt like he had hit me. I was surprised that blood wasn't streaming from a hole in my heart. But then again, something _was_ bleeding in me. It just was invisible.

xxx

That night, I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, back and forth, my heart pounding so fast and so loudly that I couldn't understand how Thornpaw slept so peacefully.

Suddenly, a shriek pierced the still air. I shot straight up in my nest of moss. Thornpaw muttered something and turned over in his sleep but he didn't wake.

"_Brighty!_" Ice chilled my heart. Brighty. The pet name Cloudkit called me so often in dark corners and bright play-spots. I crept out of the apprentice's den, my pawsteps a light pitter-patter on the soft earth. I reached the nursery without any cat noticing me and pushed through the bramble covering to find Cloudkit trembling and cowering from an unknown foe.

"Brighty… Help…" he whimpered. I felt a wrench at my heart and bent down, nuzzling him gently.

"It's okay," I cooed, as I had done so many times during my kithood when Cloudkit had awoken, sweating and scared from some horrible nightmare that had plagued him for hours. "Brighty's here." I curled up next to him and let my body warm him. He relaxed and his eyes flashed open, confused and blurry.

"Brightkit?" he murmured, and from the look in his eyes, I could tell he thought he was still dreaming. I bent forward and nuzzled his cheek lightly.

"I'm here." I breathed. "Go back to sleep."

He glanced at me for a moment, and then his eyes closed slowly, like pebbles falling through honey. I watched him for a long time and slowly, my eyelids dropped down with weariness as well, and we lay there, our two shades of white fur blending together until one wasn't distinguishable from the other.

xxx

"Cloudtail, Cloudtail!" the voices of the Clan rang out around me. I grinned warmly, but inside I felt as cold as ice. I had always thought that Cloudtail and I would receive our warrior names together – sit vigil together, do it all… But together, always together. I bowed my head and did not join in the cheering. I saw Swiftpaw cast a dark look up at the Highrock and I rested my tail gently on his shoulder and muttered a few words into his ear. He sat and laid his fur flat, but his eyes were still narrowed in anger.

I waited until most of the cats had returned to their dens to go up and greet him. I just couldn't stand to see him there, being congratulated by all the senior warriors, while all of the apprentices, including me, were overlooked, or were privileged to receive a pitying shake of the head and the like. When I finally padded up to Cloudtail, he didn't look happy.

For a minute, we just sat there, gazing at each other, saying things that couldn't be put into words. At last, he spoke.

"I'm a warrior now."

"I know." I looked up at him and again, I saw the pain in those eyes, that horrible, heart-stopping pain I had first seen the day I had become an apprentice. And suddenly, I realized I was looking at the reflection of my eyes in his. I quickly looked away.

"It feels weird, doesn't it?" he meowed quietly.

"Yeah."

"I guess I always thought…" he trailed off, gazing at something directly behind me.

"…That we'd be warriors together?" I finished.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, we aren't." I meowed. He looked at me, and I looked at him, and then I rose and turned to leave. "Bye Cloudtail."

"Goodbye…" he whispered.

"Brightpaw."

xxx

"It's not fair!" Swiftpaw repeated, fixing his gaze with the eyes of Fernpaw, Ashpaw, Thornpaw, and me – all of us in turn. "I'm a way older apprentice than Crowfood! Why aren't I a warrior? Brightpaw, you're older than him too, can't you see –

"Don't call him Crowfood." I meowed quietly, my lower lip trembling. Swiftpaw laughed.

"Oh yeah, you're _friends_ with that jerk! He can't be a friend to _anyone _Brightpaw! He ate _kittypet_ food! He thinks he's better than everyone!" Swiftpaw wrinkled his face into a prim little squint and started flapping his paws at the other apprentices in a dismissive manner. Thornpaw was the only one with nerve enough to laugh. I glared at him and he quickly averted his eyes to the floor.

"You don't know him." I meowed. "He's not _like_ that. He's nice, and – and…" I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to tell these cats about the feeling I got whenever I looked at Cloudtail. Swiftpaw took my hesitation as a sign that I couldn't actually think of anything good about Cloudtail.

"Ha, see?" he chuckled. "He's stupid and oblivious to everything around him! Why, a Twoleg monster could come roaring through camp and he wouldn't even twitch an ear!" Swiftpaw made his eyes go blank and his mouth dropped open in an extremely dopey manner. "Hi, I'm, Cloudtail." He drawled. "Look at me, I'm better than everyone else! Look, I can eat a mouse! And then eat more and more until there's none left for any decent cat to-

"SHUT UP!" I shrieked, jumping to my paws. "Shut up about him! You don't know him like I do! He's my friend and I-I-" I glanced at all the faces staring at me, swallowed hard and continued, "I LOVE him and – and so there!"

For a moment there was silence and Swiftpaw stared at me like I had sprouted an extra head. There, again, there it was, that horrible pained feeling in his eyes, like the sharp pincers of a beetle, sinking their way into my heart. No one spoke – no one moved. Suddenly, Swiftpaw shook himself and meowed in strained voice, as though nothing had happened,

"A-Anyway. If we ever want to become warriors, we have to do something big – so big that Bluestar can't possibly ignore us anymore!"

Everyone looked at him skeptically and he looked hurt.

"What could _we_ do that would catch the attention of every cat in the Clan?" Ashpaw asked doubtfully. Swiftpaw grinned.

"We should find whatever's taking away the prey! Since _Fireheart_," he spat the name, "Doesn't seem to care, we could find it and kill it and save the Clan!" he looked around, his enthusiasm showing on his round face.

"I don't know, Swiftpaw…" Fernpaw meowed uncertainly. "I mean, it's a bit risky…"

"Everything is risky!" Swiftpaw cried out angrily. "If all you cared about was keeping safe you wouldn't dare to step out of the nursery!" He glared at Fernpaw and she shrank away, while Ashpaw patted her on the back, looking reproachfully at Swiftpaw. With a growl of frustration he swung his head around to face me. "What about _you_ Brightpaw?" he snarled. "You too much of a _coward_ to go find whatever's killing the prey?"

I looked at him, and then I looked at Thornpaw, my brother, and I thought of Cloudtail. I looked fiercely up at Swiftpaw and meowed angrily,

"I'm not scared of _anything_." I rose and started forward, but Thornpaw blocked my way.

"Brightpaw, _no._" he whispered. "What would Ma say?"

"Ma isn't here!" I meowed roughly. "Get out of my way!"

Swiftpaw was looking at me with a new respect and he stepped forward to back me up. When Thornpaw saw the two of us glaring at him, he shrank out of our way.

"You'll be sorry." He meowed, cringing away from me. Swiftpaw laughed and shoved him out of the way as he pushed his way out of the den. I bent down and nudged my brother lightly.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, before following Swiftpaw to the back of the nursery.

xxx

We padded through the forest, not speaking, not looking at each other. After a while I started to hear tiny whimpering sounds coming from somewhere nearby. I swung my head back and forth, and then suddenly came face to face with Swiftpaw. His eyes were red and puffy. My stomach twisted into a knot.

"Swiftpaw…" I murmured, unsure of what to say. He looked away.

"You love him." He meowed, as toneless and dull as Cloudtail had been the night I began an apprentice. My forehead creased in anxiety.

"Yes, I do." I said, and as I spoke, the words began more true – I became sure that they were true. "But Swiftpaw… I never meant to hurt you. I'd never hurt you." We had come to a complete halt. I stepped forward and touched him gently on the cheek with my nose. He cringed, as if my touch burned. I backed off, hurt.

"It doesn't matter." He muttered.

"It _does_ matter." I insisted, turning so he had to face me. "Swiftpaw, you're my best friend – you always will be, but…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"You can't love me?" he asked. It wasn't a question. We both knew the answer.

"No. I guess not." I sighed. "Can't I say anything to make you understand?" Our eyes locked for a moment, and then Swiftpaw shook his head.

"Maybe I'll understand someday." He meowed, but this time he didn't seem angry or hurt, only resigned. I smiled warmly.

"Let's hope so."

"We're still friends?" he looked worried, and I laid my tail comfortingly on his shoulder.

"Always."

"I'm sorry I called you a coward."

"It's alright."

"Cloudtail… He's alright." Swiftpaw's eyes glanced towards the ground. I shook my head.

"You don't have to pretend for me." He looked up at me and I swear, I nearly fainted when I saw the look in his eyes.

"I'd _never_ pretend for _you_ Brightpaw."

"Well, good!" I meowed. "I'd be the _last_ cat to call Cloudtail perfect! You and I can discuss his faults at great length some time." That made him grin.

"Every cloud has a silver lining!" he replied jovially. "Come on, we've got a starving Clan to save."

xxx

We reached Snakerocks just as dawn was sending it's pink rays across the clouds. We crouched in a small bramble thicket, our pelts brushing against each other. We had stopped once to hunt during the night – we couldn't afford to have growling stomachs give us away. Swiftpaw was convinced it was Twolegs or ShadowClan who were stealing our prey. I wasn't so sure. Yes, Twolegs were likely, but they rarely came in this far in the forest and the adders were dangerous to all creatures, on two legs or four. And ShadowClan… Well, Snakerocks was quite a bit beyond the border of their territory – why trouble yourself to come all the way to a place which harbored snakes that could kill with one bite, if you could steal perfectly good prey 10 foxlengths out of your territory? Assuming, of course, you weren't caught.

As we peeked out from the thicket, it became clear what had been stealing prey. At first we only heard growls coming from one of the many caves formed by the stacked up boulders that gave Snakerocks it's name. But then they grew louder. And still louder. Until we saw a huge shadow sliding out of the cave. I could feel Swiftpaw quivering beside me, and I laid my tail on his shoulder to comfort him.

"We're in this together." I reminded him. We exchanged one scared look, then he blinked and turned quickly back to the scene before us.

They were dogs, no doubt about it. But _such_ dogs… The sort cats dream of only in their most horrible nightmares, from which they wake up screaming, swimming in their own sweat. The dogs were _huge_, the smallest at least five times my size. And the jaws… Huge, slavering jaws that snapped birds straight from the air as they flew around desperately, searching for a chance of escape.

Now it was me who was trembling, sweat streaming down my forehead. I felt Swiftpaw's tail link with mine and squeeze it tight.

"We're in this together." He meowed, but his voice was shaking. I nodded, feeling sick.

"O-On three?" I whispered.

"On three." He meowed firmly. So this was how I was going to die. Cut to pieces by a pack of vicious dogs. Well, if it would help my Clan, then so be it. At least I would go down a hero. But I couldn't keep my thoughts from flitting back to Cloudtail. What was the last thing I had said to him? 'Bye, Cloudtail.' Fitting, I supposed. And what were his last words to me? 'Goodbye… Brightpaw.' Also, fitting. But… Did I ever tell him I loved him? No. Well, maybe that was best.

"Two…" I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Three!" he cried out, leaping forward. I opened my eyes and scampered forward, teeth bared.

"Leave our Clans alone!" I screamed, leaping on the first dog I saw. It snarled and spun, making my stomach flip over. But I clung to it, scratching my claws across it's back. It howled in pain and writhed beneath me as I held on for dear life. Suddenly, I was thrown to the side and to the ground. Something hard hit my eye and I howled in pain.

"_Pack pack, kill kill!" _the cry rang in my ears and I screamed. I heard the crack of bone and my left leg suddenly twisted and bent forward, taking the rest of my body with it. A claw scratched down the side of my face and I felt blood swell and build up and hen spill over onto my face. I whimpered, trying to fend off my attacker with limp paws. The dog simply snarled and bared it's teeth, an inch from my neck. I could fell its hot breath and a drop of saliva dripped onto my cheek. I closed my eyes, just waiting for what was to come… Would it hurt? Would I feel anything at all?

And then, suddenly, the weight on my body was lifted, and I heard a faint scream. I couldn't see, blood streamed into my left eye and my other seemed to have been scratched out or something. I moaned and sank to my knees, crying out to my mother, to StarClan, anyone who could help me.

And I was falling to the ground, my legs giving out like jelly, my head lolling to the side. I couldn't move, couldn't think… I could just barely make out Swiftpaw's outline before me, desperately shoving at me to move, to wake up. Something came up behind him. I tried to open my mouth to warn him, but nothing came. His eyes widened with shock and then fear, as he tried to turn and face his foe, but it had his back legs by the time he had seen it.

With a cry he lurched forward, trying to pull out of the dog's grip, but it just held him in a tighter grip than ever. Tears streamed from his eyes and he screamed once… twice… Then nothing. I saw his eyes glaze over, and then the dog dropped him and threw back it's head in a yowl of triumph. The other dogs echoed it's called, and then with a loud bark from Swiftpaw's murderer, they all retreated back into the caves. I closed my eyes and stretched out my paw with my last eddy of strength to touch Swiftpaw's leg. He was stone cold. I didn't know when it happened, but I must have passed out, because by the time I woke up again, Fireheart and Cloudtail were right beside me.

xxx

I dreamed of Cloudtail.

I stood in a field, unlike anything in the forest, and across from me was Cloudtail, a grin plastered across his face. I smiled warmly and began to run towards him. But when I had almost reached him, he just smiled and shook his head. I yowled, and ran forward, but when I got to him, he was gone, like mist on the wind. I shrieked in protest and ran around the field, desperately seeking him. But I couldn't find him. Anywhere.

And then the dream changed. Now I stood at Snakerocks, my paws frozen in place. I felt no physical pain, but he heart felt like it was being ripped out of my body. I watched Swiftpaw barrel past two other dogs to knock one of them off me. My throat tightened as I saw him fall to the ground, and when I tried to turn my head away, I found I couldn't. I watched him die again and again, tears welling in my eyes, and still I could not move. And suddenly, one of the dogs was behind me, and I was screaming, for a found I could speak, but I couldn't move. The horrible creature leaned towards me, leering manically at me. It's eyes gleamed with triumph and it leaned forward, ready to chomp down on my throat with it's great horrible fangs…

"_Pack pack, kill kill!"_

xxx

"Brightpaw. Birghtpaw, can you tell us what did this to you?"

The voice barely pierced through to my brain. I twitched one of my ears, an amazing feat in my current condition, and opened my remaining good eye just a slit, hoping beyond hope that the dogs had gone.

"What happened? What did this?" Who was talking? I knew, somehow, that this cat didn't mean me any harm but I couldn't think of anything except those horrible words still playing about in my head. I whimpered, unable to for words with my listless tongue.

"Pyak… Pyak…" I coughed and squeaked in pain as I felt a twinge in my side.

"P-Pack. Pack pack, kill kill!" It was all I could manage to say. My short excursion into consciousness had used up the small amount of strength I had built up since the battle, and I passed out again.

xxx

When I next woke up, it was in the medicine cat's den, it is night, and Cloudtail was beside me.

"P-pack…" I whispered, shrinking into a tiny ball. I shivered, afraid of what might be lurking outside or around me. "P-pack pack-"

"Shh." Cloudtail swept his tail over my mouth. I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed onto his tail with my mouth, clutching it tightly. He didn't protest. "It's okay, Bright-Lostface." he made a face and I glanced up at him, worried and confused.

"Lostface?" I squeaked. "W-What's wrong with m-my face?" I knew that in a moment I was about to cry. What kind of monster had I become? How could Cloudtail ever love me now? The white tom looked uncomfortable.

"Bluestar said… She – she gave you a new name." he meowed slowly.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, raising a paw to carefully touch the left side of my face, where no vision seemed to come from. I let out a cry when I felt tender flesh instead of soft fur.

"Lostface…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Can – can I see?" I asked, my voice quavering. He closed his eyes and then nodded. Gently, he nudged me to my feet, and I stumbled over to a little pool of water at the entrance to the den. I glanced into it and couldn't stop a sharp intake of breath from escaping my lips.

"I'm horrible." I meowed softly, simply stating a fact. Cloudtail looked at me and shook his head.

"No! No, Lost – _Brightpaw_," he meowed firmly. "You're still beautiful! These scars just show how – how brave you are!" he looked as helpless as a kit. I didn't say anything, just turned and dragged myself back to my soft moss nest. Cloudtail followed me, his tail dragging in the dust behind him.

"_I _still think you're beautiful." he muttered. I smiled at him, and licked him gently on the cheek. He touched my blind side tenderly with his paw and I saw sadness in his eyes. I sighed, and lay down.

Suddenly, I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye, coming up on my blind side. I yelped and quickly crawled behind Cloudtail, squeaking like a mouse.

"Oh – she's up!" the voice was a familiar one – Cinderpelt.

"You frightened her!" Cloudtail snapped accusingly. Cinderpelt looked hurt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know she was up!" she meowed tersely.

"Yeah, well, you should have thought that she might be!"

"You know, I'm right here!" I meowed, irritated. Cloudtail's look softened and he gave me a little lick.

"Of course you are. No one's going to ignore you." He glanced upward. "I – I have to go on a patrol… I'm sorry." He was genuinely unhappy. I forced a smile.

"It's okay."

"Wait for me?" he asked.

"Always."

xxx

Once news spread across the camp that I was better, cats began to visit. Whitestorm, my mentor was one of the first. We didn't speak at first. He just sat and gave me a curt nod. I returned it. After a moment, he walked up to me, and rubbed his cheek against mine.

"I thought I'd lost you." He meowed softly.

"Me too." I looked him in the eyes, and then shook my head. He turned and walked out of the den.

When I learned that Fernpaw had ratted us out to Dustpelt, I knew I should have been relieved and not angry, that she had gotten cats there in time to help me, I was livid.

"How _could _you!" I shrieked, when she came to see me. "We trusted you! We thought you were a friend!"

She flinched at every remark as if I had slapped her, but I went on and on.

"And if you were going to be a traitor anyway, why didn't you do it in time to save Swiftpaw, huh?" a lump rose in my throat, but I pushed on, determined to make her see what she had done. "You just left him to die, and when precious_ Dustpelt_ comes up to you, there aren't any secrets, no! Are you in _love_ with that mangy furball? You certainly seem to care more about him than your friendships!" I almost leapt onto her, but before I could, my strength gave out and I almost had to drag myself back to my nest. I could hear Fernpaw's sobs deep into the night.

The rest of my visitors hardly seemed to care that I was ill. Mother came and stayed by my nest all day once. She fended off all of the curious cats, telling them I needed rest and solitude. I never could thank her enough.

Cats from the entire Clan kept asking the same question, "What happened? What happened? Who attacked you?" but it was still one huge blur in my head. Whenever I started to picture what had killed Swiftpaw, those four words just rang in my head, and I saw Swiftpaw's dull, lifeless eyes…

"Pack pack, kill kill!"

xxx

I sat up, my chest heaving. Cloudtail was beside me, looking worried. It was sunhigh, and Cinderpelt was in the back of the den, rummaging around.

"The dream?" he asked. I nodded, sweating. He sighed and touched noses with me. "You're safe here." He meowed quietly. I nodded again.

"I know."

"Did you see anything this time?"

"No." I averted my eye from him to the ground. I had seen something; I just didn't know what to call it. He shook his head and sniffed and meowed, almost as an afterthought.

"Someone's is coming."

I stiffened, and glanced back and forth. Although I couldn't see anyone, I heard pawsteps coming up behind me and whimpered, shrinking closer to Cloudtail.

"It's okay." He meowed softly, bending down to whisper in my ear. "It's only Fireheart." He raised his head and smiled at Fireheart. "You came up on her blind side. She's scared when cats do that, but she's getting better every day." I winced. A blind side – I didn't _want_ a blind side! I didn't want to have lost my ear or my eye, or to become so ugly that most cats couldn't look at me…

"That's right."

Cinderpelt padded over to Fireheart and whispered in his ear. I knew they didn't want me to hear, but I could, and their words stung like thorns.

"To be honest, there's not much more I can do for her. She just needs time to get strong." Oh, if there wasn't anything she could do for me, why couldn't I leave this cursed den? Maybe if I wasn't on display as an invalid, I would be able to regain some of the happiness I had in a former life!

"How long? I need to talk to her – and it's time Cloudtail was going back to his warrior duties. I know Sandstorm wants him for her hunting patrol." Typical Fireheart. No, he doesn't care about my feelings at all, or the trauma I just went through, or the realization that I would never see of hear on the left side of my face, that I would be shunned forever as a mutant by the Clan. No, he just cares about his previous _hunting patrols_. I almost spat a retort at him, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good.

"I'll have to let Lostface decide when she feels ready to leave my den." Oh, I'm ready! And I'm also ready for people to stop calling me that horrible name! How would you like it if people called you Deadleg, Cinderpelt? Maybe you would feel some sympathy then!

"Have you thought about what's going to happen to her now?"

"Officially she's a warrior…" That really cut. I had had my warrior ceremony, and I hadn't even been there. I would never sit vigil, or hear the Clan shouting my name… A single tear welled in my right eye and ran down my cheek. I turned my head away; I didn't want to listen any more.

"Lostface, Fireheart wants to talk to you." Cloudtail nudged me. I looked up at him, a horrible look on my face. Lostface… He had never called me that before. I had thought that I was still Brightpaw to him… I guess I was wrong.

"Lostface, it's Fireheart. Would you like to go stay with the elders for a while? It would be a load off my mind if you could help look after them – the apprentices have too much to do as it is." I looked up at Fireheart, and there was pain in my eyes. Yes I was a warrior, but of course, since I had a ravaged face, I couldn't do warrior tasks. I would probably be fetching mouse bile for Dappletail for the rest of my days. But I couldn't tell them that, I had to put on a brave front, and show stupid Fireheart that he couldn't just shove me aside.

"I don't have to, do I? I'm _not_ and elder." There was a spark of defiance in my eyes then, but I bet Fireheart thought it was fright, as he looked on me with pity.

"No one will make you do anything you don't want to do." That was Cloudtail. At least he knew what I was going through, having actually tried to help me get through my crippled stage, unlike some cats I could mention.

"But you'd be doing me a favor." Fireheart meowed. Yeah, right, what a favor! Hey, Brightpaw, you just got attacked by a huge pack of dogs! Now, will you please go change the elder's bedding? "Speckletail's still grieving for Snowkit and it will do her good to have a young, energetic cat around. It's just until you get your strength back." He added. I glanced up at Fireheart, and really considered it. I wouldn't do this for Fireheart. Cloudtail's uncle or no… But if it would help Speckletail… The white queen had been one of my best friends and advisors. If I could help her, even in my crippled state, I would.

"And when you're strong again, I'll help you train." Cloudtail put in. "I'm sure you'll be able to hunt with your good ear and eye. It'll just take a bit of practice." I looked up at him, and this time, there was hope in my one eye. To be able to really join the warriors? To bear my warrior name, no matter how horribly reminiscent, with pride? Tempting, very tempting. I was reluctant to say it, but I knew it was probably for the best.

"All right, Fireheart. If it's the best way I can be useful."

"It is, I promise. And Lostface…" Here it comes.

"Is there anything you can tell me about that day in the forest? Did you see what attacked you?"

I didn't want to tell him about my dreams, not after what he had put me through. So I feigned fright, and pulled back towards Cloudtail.

"I don't remember." I whimpered, cringing away from him. "I'm sorry Fireheart; I don't remember." Cloudtail licked my head gently.

"It's alright; you don't have to think about it right now." I could tell that Fireheart was disappointed. I almost smirked. Maybe now he would care once and a while.

"Never mind." He meowed, almost jovially. "If you do think of anything, tell me right away." He turned, about to leave. Oh yeah. First I'd tell Cloudtail, then Whitestorm, Mother, Speckletail, oh yeah, the list goes on and on… Then I'd tell my dung, and _then_ I'd come tell you.

"_I'll_ tell you one thing. " Cloudtail meowed towards Fireheart as the ginger tom started padding away. "When we find out what did this to her, I'll make crowfood of them. I promise you."

There was never a time when I loved him more than right then.

xxx

And seven moons later, after BloodClan, after everything, I was Brightheart, and was having Cloudtail's kits.

We were side by side in the nursery, which was completely deserted. I had told Cinderpelt firmly that I was determined to have these kits on my own, with no help, unless something went wrong. She had argued with me, but when I decide to do something, StarClan themselves wouldn't be able to stop me.

I took a deep breath and shut my one eye. Cloudtail was next to me, cooing encouragement.

"I can see it!" he crowed happily. "It's got white fur… One more should do it!" And I pushed, harder than ever, and then there she was, white and wet, and whimpering.

Cloudtail and I had been worried that my traumatic event, coupled with my disfiguring, might damage the kits, making them even more mutant-like than I was. We were wrong. Whitekit was perfect, with milky white teeth and a small pink tongue.

"She's beautiful." Cloudtail whispered, awe-struck. "Like her mother." I pulled Whitekit close to me and wrapped my tail around her.

"You really think I'm beautiful?" I asked, trying not to act surprised. Cloutail looked at me, confused.

"I always did." He meowed, frowning. "What, did you think you were ugly or something?"

I laughed and licked Whitekit a couple of times.

"Beauty is as beauty does." I meowed. "Come on, let's go show Thornclaw our daughter."

**There! Whew, that took FORVER to write, but I'm extremely please with the result, aren't you? Wow, this is probably the best story of my career! Thanks sooo much for taking the time to read it! Constructive criticism in reviews is welcome, but please don't flame, because I worked really hard to do this and I don't want it messed up by some wacko's opinion of it. Thank you and good night!**


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